Troubled....

A busy weekend comes to an end - it seems to have galloped by, but in some ways I am ready for the thinking time that being off work is giving me. We have had good times and bad this weekend, but yet again more illustrations of situations where I get really stressed and need to change the way I deal with stuff.

Saturday the boys had auditions at PQA, for parts in the musical that they will be performing in London in May 2017. J dealt with it with his usual confidence - he knows he's brilliant so no need for nerves! M on the other hand was worried and teary, but both came out with big grins on their faces, so it wasn't such a bad experience.

The school Fayre was on Saturday afternoon, looked like it was a big success and very well organised. I spent way more money than intended, as the bank of Mum kept being drawn on.

The stressful stuff this weekend concerned my mother in law, with her dementia she is having spectacular delusions and hallucinations - people at the side of her bed trying to get her, 3 dead babies, several different Bobs (my father in law) and then crying for her mum (who died 60 years back) and worrying that her mum would tell her off for being late home. She was aggressive, kicking my father in law repeatedly, refusing to get up and dressed etc.  I had popped round to see what they wanted to do for lunch and I ended up lying on her bed with her trying to convince her that everything was alright and nobody was trying to hurt her. I seem to be a good calming influence on her.

We had a surprise visitor, S's older brother who came up to see his mum and dad, it was good to see him and good for him to see what his mum was like on a bad day. Despite the circumstances it was nice to see him.

What  concerns me is how I manage to end up doing exactly what I am not really supposed to be doing which is gettininvolved with my mother in law's care, and also being the one organising things. I guess the one positive was that Steve came and took over caring for mum in law because he knew I shouldn't be doing it, which got the messagetacrossthatI can't keep stepping in. I feel another call to social services coming on, to sort out some respite care. We spent the afternoon at the cinema seeing TheSecret Life of Pets - not bad but the trailers had given me veryhighexpectations and they weren't really met. I thought it was going to be more observational but it was more of adventure story. The boys enjoyed it though which was the purpose of the trip.

So another week begins with the added bonus that I am now allowed to drive, so I can go places! However I think tomorrow will be spent in the company of self help books to look at how I can deal with things better and without getting stressed. Could be a long day...